Eating for Energy: What Recovery has Taught Me About my Relationship with Food

The journey of recovering from an eating disorder is immensely personal and transformative. It encompasses not just the struggle and the pain but also the profound lessons learned along the way. For me, one of the most significant insights has been understanding the true essence of eating for energy—how food is not just about taste or routine, but a fundamental source of vitality and wellbeing. This revelation has reshaped my relationship with food, teaching me to appreciate its value beyond calories and cravings.

1. Food as Fuel, Not Foe

My eating disorder once cast food as the enemy. Meals were battles, and calories were foes to be vanquished. However, recovery taught me to see food as fuel—a vital source of energy that powers not just physical activities but also our thoughts, emotions, and overall wellbeing. This shift in perspective was essential. It allowed me to start viewing eating as an act of self-care rather than self-control. By focusing on nourishing my body, I began to appreciate the variety, colours, and textures of food, seeing them as tools to enhance my vitality.

2. The Power of Mindful Eating

Recovery also introduced me to the concept of mindful eating. Before, I would often eat under the shadow of guilt, barely tasting or enjoying my food. Mindful eating taught me to savour each bite, to listen to my body’s hunger and fullness cues, and to understand that eating can be a source of joy, not anxiety. This approach has helped me build a healthier relationship with food, where I eat for energy and nourishment, recognising the signals my body sends me about what it needs to thrive.

3. Finding Balance and Flexibility

One of the most critical lessons recovery taught me is the importance of balance and flexibility in my diet. Rigidity and strict rules around eating fuelled my disorder. Learning to embrace a more flexible approach to eating has been liberating. It's okay to indulge in cravings (in moderation) and to understand that one’s diet doesn’t need to be perfect to be healthy. This mindset has been crucial in maintaining a positive and sustainable relationship with food.

4. The Journey Continues

While my recovery from the eating disorder has been stable, other health challenges have caused my recovery to be a continuous process of learning, growing, and healing. Each day offers new challenges and opportunities to deepen my understanding of how food affects my energy, mood, and health. This journey has taught me to be kind and patient with myself, to celebrate my body’s capabilities, and to nourish it with the respect and care it deserves.